Redhood’s Great American Thanksgiving

Posted: November 27, 2014 by redhood225 in Holidays, Uncategorized

Well, well, well – – it’s Thanksgiving – everything a bit of all right. The bus ride up from New York was full of winter wonderland. Oh, that’s right! I never mentioned I’m in New York for Thanksgiving, on a technicality you could say . The night previous to this I was with my family. We were celebrating my mum’s birthday. She turned: seventy! I can hardly believe, head of the UN and so much accomplishment. The previous night, I went onto American Greeting I thought it would be funny if I made the UN say happy birthday to her, realizing I could not do that I came up with the second-best option which was, to my credit, probably one of the best greeting cards long form I have ever done. Before I display what I really wrote I should preface this by saying that it was from a dog’s perspective. With that in mind. Read on!

The first card read:

Here are today’s top stories. All of them arf-ul. Except for one. On capital hall history is being made. Political pundits are ramping up to make this the biggest push ever. President Obama is near his breaking point. First Lady Obama has decided to host the first international birthday party for everyone who was born on November 25th. Which includes the presidential Pardon of the turkey. Additionally Vice President Biden is fanning down the President because of this news. Earlier this morning German Chancellor Merkel called Ban Ki-moon to halt all activity. on the ball. Black dress returned. More in next segment.

Thus in the next room, evidently I heard the chime of all things. Me Mum who was reading the missive. She was laughing. Gut bustingly laughing. Fell into pieces on the floor. That’s what I call good greeting card.

Then, a second chime. The second card was read aloud.

Here are today’s continued top stories. German Chancellor Merkel called Sax fifth avenue to have the returned black dress re routed to Germany. SSI payments rise since 1989. Prime Minister Putin bans all French bread coming from Paris, First Lady Obama has decided to host the first international quilting completion. The First Lady is requesting those quilters with Brothers sewing machines to apply first and singer sewing machines to apply last. The Presidential Medal of Freedom is awarded to the head translator of the UN.   This just in the turkey has not been pardoned. The Supreme Court bans the sale of every turkey whole foods and Trader Joe’s are on shortages. Stocks continue to plummet.  

I thought, if I could do it halfway around the globe, why couldn’t I do it in my bedroom flat in London. Both are mitigating places to make an American birthday card. No less online than in person. The fun continued. She laughed more. I’ve never seen somebody laughed so hard in my life. It brings a lot of joy to me not that I can’t express emotion I can just not easily, The thing works in three cards, you have to do it in three cards. Not four or five but three. Always work in threes.

Enter the third card. It went something like this. The dog is still speaking. It was Scottish which made It all the funnier.

This just in Merkel is waiting for her serving of escargot somewhere in midtown. The UN has resumed working. The Presidential Medal of honor has been awarded to the head of the un hospitality committee instead of the head of the UN. and we have something coming over the desk now! It reads:

HAPPY–BIRTHDAY—M!    My family is american and is is in Pittsburgh not bad for an ameri-brit. I’m here.

In Pennsylvania with my girlfriends family. They’re great people.

My normal family is in Pittsburgh yet I can’t help feeling that somehow someway were all deservedly to be thankful for something or other.

Don’t get me wrong, but; the Thanksgiving turkey,  But the pardoning of the turkey, that the president has to see this animal be pardoned. That it must be pardoned  is bollocks to me. I keep saying why must a turkey be pardons it doesn’t make any sense whatsoever yet it happens every year just about at the same time–weird, isn’t it? Alan Sherman the american composer and might as well have written a Thanksgiving parody. Yet he retired from that a long time ago. Hopefully, be the one to write the second parody. Meanwhile. I’ll sit tight. And wait. Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!  I sincerely mean it. Just wait until Santa arrives. The holidays have officially begun.

Until next time.




Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s